observation of a single lady and her dog

I don't understand why a single woman would have a dog, here's why:

Firstly she can't go on vacation/anywhere for over 8 hours because the dog needs her. Now I really see an advantage of being a single woman in her 40s is the lack of responsibility and resulting freedom to jet about and have adventures. The dog crushes all chances of these.

Secondly she never knows when a murderer is near her house. The dog is silent until there is someone across the street so when it starts barking wildly I get freaked out certain that the person causing such agitated behavior from said animal is a threat. It is unnerving. I get freaked out enough in this house alone I don't need a dog adding extra anxiety by identifying non-threats.

Thirdly she can't walk around her house unaccompanied. Again the advantage to owning your own home and living alone in it at 40 is the peace and quiet. Well not here folks, that saliva spewing dog is gonna be right at your shins when you turn around blanketing you with guilt for not paying attention to it. Just let me make my lunch in peace!

Now I'm sure to a dog loving person they defend these inconveniences with the fact that it provides companionship blah blah blah. Well not worth it I'd say. Ok I'm sorry to all of my friends who love dogs (right so that is most of you...don't worry I'll pretend to love your dog like usual when I get home, really I don't mind them as long as I don't have to live with it), I know you hold them in great esteem. I just can't handle the constant demand on my attention and slobber. Oh the slobber *shudder*.

This is about where you are probably expecting me to rise up in favor of an alternate animal to have as a pet i.e. companionship, like a cat. Wrong. I have decided I don't like having any pets. Last year when I borrowed my parents kittens at school for a month it was all fun and games until the second week when they started tearing shit up and demanding I play with them or they would spill their water everywhere. I have enough stuff to deal with, let's not add on cleaning up animal vomit (the dog just barfed. awesome.), picking up dog poop/cleaning litter boxes, etc.